backyard

IS* beautiful and nothing hurts.

I should just have a tag for these 'come back' posts after long absences.

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I find way more crafty and sewing and inspirational-type blogs on blogger, yet I have an LJ. :/ And truth be told, the ads are fucking insufferable. I doubt I'll move, cause I like the privacy of LJ and the fact that it feel more diary-like to me. If I started using blogger it would be for projects and photo dumps.


I saw this, a little baby onesie while thrifting and it was just too cute to not grab. Then I remembered I don't have any babies... but I do have cat. Hmm.

I'm always blaming my mood swings, or rather, "mode" swings 'cause they're that crazy and different, on PMSing and whatnot. Today, I realized I'm just going to stop doing that. It sounds so ridiculous. They're me, they're my feelings and I'm "blaming" them on something. Silly. I only realized that because I was in a given-up mood for the last few months and kind of just... touching the water with my toes, after a huge emotional fall out that I had. And now, really all of the sudden, I jumped in. There was no joy in living with just my toes in like that.  I won't go into a huge "it's the good memories that you want to look back to, not the bad ones" and "nobody's perfect", but that's pretty much what it is. I can only control my choices and the rest I can just deal with.



2010 was beautiful but deadly. I have such a bittersweet feeling with it and yet I hated that it was ending. I've always found the quote "Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt." so corny and annoying; then it applied to me. So now I see a lot more meaning in it because I'm making a present tense instead of past.


*This song is so one that I will dance to at my wedding, maybe even the first! Ahhh...
everywoman lovesa brute;

Who can cling to a rambling rose...

So obviously, no, I was not able to keep up. :D;

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gift pouch!
Double bow! All the way. So intense. stand.
Reminds me of 500 Days. :P

Gonna try to maybe prime paint the doggie house tomorrow. :D There's tons of leftover paint from the rooms so the colors'll match nicely. I'm just scared of the wasps in the backyard. ;o; They keep re-nesting! And there's another right above my window. =/

OH man, i love this song. :D It's impossible for a man to sing a song telling a woman to just shut the hell up already and sound this appealing/lovely. 8D It's just so sweet, but I'll continue to ramble either way.

everywoman lovesa brute;

I am...

Heartbroken.

I've never felt it before. The shaking, eyes swollen, head throbbing, sunk stomach, heart shattered.

I had never felt it before. I was so proud of that. I was so grateful.

I am in pieces. I am butchered up. I want to rip this aching organ and tear it apart with my bear hands, dig my nails deep and smear it everywhere.
I am shocked, breatheless, used, pathetic, angry, used, lied to, used, toyed with.
Trust is gone. It's left in a desert, in the center, shivering, dying.

I am heartbroken...
I dont know what will happen. If I had a time machine... I would break his head with every piece and screw from it.

Oh, icon... I shouldn't be so glad that I have you...
nature

LSNED

Layout change!
I realized I forgot to make a banner after installing. :D;So, I whipped one up at 1AM. But dafk;lj;ja. Frustrated me. Was trying to figure out how to move the sidebar around, as in, blurb on one side, calendar on the other type of deal. I don't think that's possible. :/
I also really want the jobeau username. >.< Its user hasnt updated in 7 years... PURGE IT.


A digital scrapbook page for everyday of September. O:
I'm doing this not just because scrapbooking makes me all giddy, but because i wanna see if i can actually stick to something and not fall behind/procrastinate. I always think of these things as saving them for the future. I picture going to the attic in my home and finding all these journals and scrapbooks and mementos from life and whatnot. :D
No, really. That's what i picture every single time...

I suddenly really just can't stand my room. I hate the green. It makes me feel so uninspired. That was four years ago-- it may be time for change [not to mention it was a horrible painting job by a highschool freshman]. AND I'm thinking pink... because I liked soothing pastels, so probably with some light blue or whatever.

la&#39;fille

Something else to take up...

I can finally let my creative juices flow instead of just oogling crafty things/projects. I've started taking up sewing. I'll just say... the most i knew, was how to turn on a sewing machine.





She made helped me make this pin cushion from an online sewing class she's taking. eek. :D


i almost gave up on that button... i ended up redoing it when i got home. handstitching was hideous...

I was about to burn this old machine of my mother's because MAN. It could hardly do anything, it's supper small and primitive, doesnt even have a zigzag stitch (or any). Anyway, my dad was interested in me being interested because it reminded him of his mom and sisters and grandma doing this back in the day. He say he'd buy me a better machine annndd he came with one friday. My lil eyes lit up. :D EVEN THOUGH, it wasnt the one i told him i wanted. i'm guessing it's waaaay less popular but meh, it's very similar and obviously more advanced. the screen thing intimidated me, to be honest. :/








Tulip stitch! :D 64 & 65, 70 & 71.

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thrifted stuff jo bought me. :)

Haven't named it yet. I'm fearful that something will fuck up with it. Sooo... i'll give myself the 30 days with her and then officially make her mine... Man, if only you could do that with newborns.
Oh, that's morbid.
But if only..


OHMYFUCKINGADSAJL
I am currently hearing a kitten crying somewhere outside, mostly like around the neighbors', and IT IS TEARING ME APART. ;_;

kermit done profesh

Had to look up the actual def. of the word by end...

Just came from watching Inception [could have a total double meaning considering Levitt's performance ;D]. Actually, like two hours ago....

IT'S NOT A DREAM!

There.
Tumblr spoiler'd me way too much.
Kudos to the creator because it's perfect and sums it all up! on Twitpic



Donuts at 1AM? I think yes.


EDIT: Just found that popcorn that fell down my shirt at the movies, which i thought i got rid of after struggling with the fact that my shirt was deeply tucked in. It was in my jeans-- BY MY KNEE. NINJA POPCORNFTW.

  • Current Music
    Pulling Our Weight / The Radio Dept.
  • Tags
flap - 8D

heil kaibah!

Banner change. :D Looks funky... almost exactly the same-- randomly found the file. :3
 A+ for lazy. MOOD CHANGE, also.
Not sure why i'm bothering to choose an icon when i disabled them ftw. I'm feeling an odd feeling. I can't quite explain it, but it's a content feeling, happy and careless, but not in bad careless, despite some vile shit that is bothering me at the moment. I'm somehow going past it.
 
It NEVER fails. I'm always so pensive and in the best mood, when i'm not with J, at around this time of the day. It's almost always exactly at 1AM! I just don't know what it is about it. The calmness, perhaps.

Ifeel i'm getting fucking stupider. Earlier I spelt 'four' wrong... and... i just did it again. Foar.
*DED*
x_x
 


I finally wrote on my journal... and i ruined it. But, i was really feeling it... it's just not as poetic and pretty as the type of things i was thinking of writing on it.
"All of the sudden, i just noticed that life... just out of nowhere has begun to move at diarrheal speed.
i doubt it's got any intent of slowing down.
i'm already behind and it feels as if i'll never catch up."
  • Current Mood
    content content
larxene; asdlfkjas;PMS.

'He lives in you~' :'D

I cut me some bangs the other night... after... watching... 500 Days of... Shutthefuckup.
=)
Y'know how those birth control commercials show a girl cutting herself some bangs similar? That's how it felt. 8D; But i'm not gonna feel that impulsive at 3AM again. >_>
Gah. They grow out.

Fuck you, by the way, PMSing. I'm on top of the world one day, then you come and OH MY FUCKING ASDFJA;L. Depression like FTW. But then, in a few hours, i'm mad as crap. =/

The thing that got me depressed, I wanna mention, was seeing people's excitement over moving to college and whatnot. I just, i just can't even begin to explain. I mean, get the fuck over it T-- you had no other choice. But still, it saddens me so much that i'll never have had that (ftw?), dorm living and shit. I know it sounds stupid, but the only way i cheer myself up is thinking i'll never hold my children back and do everything i can to help them get to that.

My momma got me some flower hair pins. =) Which are also brooches because they have the hair pin and the pointy pin... how i found out? Poked the fuck out of my finger when i eagerly grabbed it. MADE IN CHINA.

Sammich time~

[It's ticking me off how I MYSELF have the "I" sometimes capitalized and sometimes not. Also that i'm doing it very consciously. There it is again. :/]
  • Current Music
    TLK Soundtrack